Trying to analyze the transition that happens in academia is really interesting to me for a couple of reasons (I'm now talking about those of us who teach fall and winter, but not summer or anything in between - in Michigan, there's a crazy spring half-term in addition to the summer term). It's probably because in my ninth year I'm still totally not used to the rhythm of them, even though they ebb and flow in really predictable patterns. The semester is always the same length, 14 weeks, and, teaching the same subjects, the arch is familiar too. The semester has three parts to - beginning, middle and end - that include their own smaller transitions. In between the fall and winter semesters there is a short break - this year, I got a whopping five days off. Between winter and fall, however, we get close to four months off from teaching. This is where magic is supposed to happen. And this is also the reason why I will never complain about my job, even when I have to work 24/7 (none of this is complaint - I'm just trying to analyze to understand what happens in my head...). The magical period otherwise known as summer makes life good.
The semesters themselves are a lot like a screw that gets tighter and tighter as they progress. In the fall, my colleagues are genuinely nice people who really enjoy each others company (the RC retreat in August is a hoot and a lot of fun). Come December though, people seem pretty tightly wound. Last year we had the shortest break ever (something about the way the holidays fall on certain days of the week). I had 10 days between the day I turned in grades and the first day of the new semester. Barely enough time to transition OUT of the old semester, just enough time to start feeling so very tired, definitely not enough time to reach the bottom of the exhaustion, let alone start climbing out of it and to recharge. The screw loosened a little bit, but was still pretty tightly wound (maybe 2/3?) Definitely one of those transitions where by sheer will I forced the stuff that was getting loose in the head to stay put, knowing that I would not have time to find new place for it. April used to be my favorite month of the year (Easter, birthday, spring, 1st of May Eve...) and now it's probably survivable (hang on to your hats territory). By the last few weeks of classes, the screw is wound so tight that we're barely hanging on - there's so much that has to get done by the deadline, and no choice in any of it.
In contrast to the winter break, we've now been off for about a month. Have I done any of the stuff I said I would? Not yet. There's still hope. In the last week I finally hit what I hope is the bottom of the exhaustion.
The pattern of this particular transition seems interesting, if for no other reason then the time that I can afford it! It seems that each school year, I can keep on running on the fumes and get something done for about a week or two after graduation (usually it's the stuff that I've been planning on doing for the past three months...). Then I start slowing down, looking at my list of things to do but feeling no particular urgency to do them right at this very moment...then, for about a week, I just can't bring myself to do anything. It almost seems like a chemical reaction, in some sense depression-like (although I know that real depression is very serious, and doesn't just last a week)...and usually, after a week or so I decide it's time to start getting things done, and I start slowly re-energizing, and re-focusing on being a different kind of creative person. Every year, I plan on transitioning faster, getting more stuff done, avoiding the bottom...but it doesn't really work that way. I haven't gotten to the re-energizing part yet. But I did practice some scales and etudes today, because I wanted to. Is there something to learn here? I'm actually not sure yet, maybe I'll figure it out this year...
The semesters themselves are a lot like a screw that gets tighter and tighter as they progress. In the fall, my colleagues are genuinely nice people who really enjoy each others company (the RC retreat in August is a hoot and a lot of fun). Come December though, people seem pretty tightly wound. Last year we had the shortest break ever (something about the way the holidays fall on certain days of the week). I had 10 days between the day I turned in grades and the first day of the new semester. Barely enough time to transition OUT of the old semester, just enough time to start feeling so very tired, definitely not enough time to reach the bottom of the exhaustion, let alone start climbing out of it and to recharge. The screw loosened a little bit, but was still pretty tightly wound (maybe 2/3?) Definitely one of those transitions where by sheer will I forced the stuff that was getting loose in the head to stay put, knowing that I would not have time to find new place for it. April used to be my favorite month of the year (Easter, birthday, spring, 1st of May Eve...) and now it's probably survivable (hang on to your hats territory). By the last few weeks of classes, the screw is wound so tight that we're barely hanging on - there's so much that has to get done by the deadline, and no choice in any of it.
In contrast to the winter break, we've now been off for about a month. Have I done any of the stuff I said I would? Not yet. There's still hope. In the last week I finally hit what I hope is the bottom of the exhaustion.
The pattern of this particular transition seems interesting, if for no other reason then the time that I can afford it! It seems that each school year, I can keep on running on the fumes and get something done for about a week or two after graduation (usually it's the stuff that I've been planning on doing for the past three months...). Then I start slowing down, looking at my list of things to do but feeling no particular urgency to do them right at this very moment...then, for about a week, I just can't bring myself to do anything. It almost seems like a chemical reaction, in some sense depression-like (although I know that real depression is very serious, and doesn't just last a week)...and usually, after a week or so I decide it's time to start getting things done, and I start slowly re-energizing, and re-focusing on being a different kind of creative person. Every year, I plan on transitioning faster, getting more stuff done, avoiding the bottom...but it doesn't really work that way. I haven't gotten to the re-energizing part yet. But I did practice some scales and etudes today, because I wanted to. Is there something to learn here? I'm actually not sure yet, maybe I'll figure it out this year...
RSS Feed
